Families today don't mirror 'Leave It to Beaver' image

The challenge that faces us as a community is making certain that all children (and adults) have loving people in their lives.

CATHERINE FROMME

Originally published August 24

A number of years ago I came across the following definition of family.

Families are big, small, extended, nuclear, multi-generational, with one parent, two parents, and grandparents. We live under one roof or many. A family can be as temporary as a few weeks, as permanent as forever. We become part of a family by birth, adoption, marriage or from a desire for mutual support.

A family is a culture unto itself, with different values and unique ways of realizing its dreams; together, our families become the source of our rich cultural heritage and spiritual diversity ... our families create neighborhoods, communities, states and nations.

This excerpt is from a 1990 New Mexico Task Force on Young Children and Families. This definition may have sounded pretty far-fetched back in 1990 and still does, for some today. The plain fact of the matter is that families have always and will continue to evolve around a changing society.

In a March 1995 article, Stephanie Coontz, a family historian at The Evergreen State College, noted that " 'Ozzie and Harriet' and June, Ward, Wally and the 'Beave' were a '20th century invention' ... and at no point did more than 60 percent of children live in such families for their entire childhood."

Contrary to popular belief, American families have always been diverse and extended. Coontz also said that in colonial days, a higher proportion of children were reared in stepfamilies than today, middle-class families took in boarders and extended families were common among the poor (a norm in many ethnic groups).

Census 2000 information indicates an increase in households headed by single parents, same-sex couples, married adults with no children, unmarried couples and by single adults.

Central Seattle has the largest proportion of adults age 20-34 (30 percent) in the later two categories.

We know from research that single-parent households are not the greatest challenge to raising successful, happy and competent children. In fact, a mother's educational status may have more impact on her children than her marital status.

Lest this message be confused with that of abdicating the value of family -- that is not at all my case. I am merely encouraging all of us to endear the concept of family as broader and larger than we may have been lead to believe in the past. In fact, more than ever before -- with our mobile society, high-tech, dual-earner, fast-paced, often stressed lives -- we need "family."

The challenge that faces us as a community and a nation is making certain that all children (and adults) have trusting, loving, supportive and nurturing people in their lives. Do we as educators, social service providers, business owners, neighbors, etc., honor and support all families as they define themselves? This includes single individuals who define family by their friends and extended family.

When was the last time you spent time with your family? Tonight, gather around the table, eat dinner together, chat, catch up -- share stories and spend some time with your family -- whoever they may be. Enjoy each and every member of your family. And allow others to do the same.

Cathy Fromme, a state employee and mother of two, is a member of The Olympian's Diversity Panel.

The Olympian Copyright 2001

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