Sports movies a good substitute for Winter Olympics

ELLIOTT SMITH

Originally published Friday, February 8, 2002

When it comes to big-time sports, the Winter Olympics aren't exactly considered the cream of the crop.

Sure, some people watch them, but for the most part seeing people fling themselves across snow isn't that exciting for The Video Guy.

The TV ratings would seem to back up my point, as the Winter Games are consistently outpointed by the Summer Games and all the major sports championships.

So if the Olympics aren't your thing, but you want to remain in the spirit of the season, there are a few winter sports movies to check out.

Hockey

To me, this is the only exciting sport in the Winter Games, although I realize a lot of people approach hockey with the same amount of dread as soccer.

The sport has been approached by filmmakers, but it's hard to make a gritty hockey movie because hockey can be dreadfully slow at times.

So the makers of SLAP SHOT went with the comedic approach, making stars out of the wild and woolly Hanson Brothers. This is considered the seminal hockey movie, if there's such a thing, because it really did introduce the sport to a lot of people who had no concept of it.

Personally, I've always had a soft spot for THE MIGHTY DUCKS. Don't ask me why, but the cheesy "ragtag group overcomes obstacles" story really works here and in the sequels. Tell me you won't tear up when the Ducks go into the Flying V to win the Big Game.

The adult version of "The Mighty Ducks" would have to be MYSTERY, ALASKA, starring a pre-superstar Russell Crowe as the leader of a team in a hockey-crazed town that gets to take on the mighty New York Rangers (as if). Yeah, you know what's going to happen, but it's a good time getting there.

Figure skating

Guys, are you looking for a movie your girlfriend will like? I guarantee you, if you rent THE CUTTING EDGE, you will be in good shape.

If I had a dollar for every time a girl wanted to watch this during my college years, I'd be a millionaire.

As mystifying as figure skating's popularity is in real life, so is the success of this movie. D.B. Sweeney stars as an ex-hockey player who teams up with a petulant skater (Moira Kelly) to form an unlikely duo on the pairs circuit.

Do they hate each other? Or do they love each other? Will they be able to overcome their fears to win when it counts?

Every time I see this movie, I feel like pulling a Nancy Kerrigan and crying, "Why! Why me?"

Skiing

In the '80s, when movies were much simpler, you could pitch something by just saying "Die Hard on a (fill in blank)."

Thus, in the spirit of "Porky's," we have the two greatest skiing movies ever captured on film, SKI SCHOOL and HOT DOG: THE MOVIE.

Was there really skiing in any of these movies? I guess so, but I remember watching them for all the wacky "Animal House" shenanigans and occasional T&A as our underdog heroes tried to topple the uppity ski snobs.

The two movies are essentially the same, although "Ski School" does feature the great Dean Cameron, who plays almost the exact same role as he did in the classic "Miracle Beach."

Bobsledding

Remember the Jamaican bobsledding team flailing about during the 1988 Winter Olympics?

As I recall, it was pretty sad to watch those guys skid down the ramp on their heads with absolutely no chance of winning.

But I guess I was wrong, because Disney says that's funny! Or at least that's what COOL RUNNINGS would have us believe.

The true story of how that team came to be is told here, and in true Disney style, they are so hopelessly horrible that you can't help but root for them and their coach (John Candy) as they head for their world embarrassment in Calgary.

Sure, some things are fudged, but overall it's an enjoyable ride. And face it, it's got to be better than watching five hours of curling, right?

Elliott Smith is a sportswriter for The Olympian by night and The Video Guy even later at night. Readers may send comments or suggestions to esmith@olympia.gannett.com.

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The Olympian Copyright 2002

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